The maker of Cialis will apply to the FDA for approval of a once-a-day version of its ED treatment. The company maintains that a daily dose will allow the benefactor to enjoy more spontaneous delight than he can with what the manufacturer refers to as its "on demand" version. The company maintains that side effects of the new dosage are mild and consist primarily of an inexplicable bulge in the pantaloons. Dr. Ira D. Sharlip, professor of urology at the Univesity of California, San Francisco, stated, "For patients who are more sexually active, which generally means younger patients, whose sexual activity is more spontaneous, it will be an attractive alternative, provided the cost is not prohibitive."

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Are the pressures, noise and congestion of life in the urban jungle causing you to consider goin? country? Be careful what you wish for!

Sixty-one percent of women report they get more laughs from the time they spend with their girlfriends than from anything else they do.

Apparently, unable to contain his enthusiasm for bumming out the relatively nice and unsuspecting folks who make up much of the Western World, the misinformed medievalist has released another drearily threatening audiotape. Since the combined political, military, and intelligence resources of the civilized world cannot locate the potato head, we suggest the audiotape be taken as an opportunity to arrest him. Here's how. Somebody buys the resourceful recluse a video camera. The only condition is, upon receipt, he has to agree to make a video about directions to his hideout. To prolong his short-lived celebrity, he can even deliver it in installments. The media will be wild for it.

As we note history changing at a record pace, from the recent unexpected surfacing of The Book of Judas to the unseating of Tyrannosaurus Rex as the largest-ever carnivore, we thought we?d do our part by contributing a revised history of pasta, in which we claim the accolade for the Roman epicurean Julius Amplonius, who had the furious assistance of the invading barbarian Klunk, The Great.

1. What event do Americans celebrate with a national holiday on July 4th? A. George Washington?s birthday B. King George III?s ascension to the throne of England C. Formal adoption of the Declaration of Independence from England D. Official signing of the Declaration of Independence C. Formal adoption of the Declaration of Independence from England TOPICS: The official signing actually took place over several days. 2. What country celebrates a national holiday in J...

Among the world?s favorite operas, we find three of them with a libretto penned by Lorenzo Da Ponte and music by none other than the astonishingly delightful Viennese ear-confectioner Mozart. The list is a delight in itself: The Marriage of Figaro, Don Giovann, and Cos? Fan Tutte. We learn in the new book, The Librettist of Venice, by Rodney Bolt, that Da Ponte grew so close with the unequalled Mozart ? both of whom, we learn, were not only talented but vain, insecure and ...

Imagine the complexities, not to mention the complexes, attendant to being the world?s largest software manufacturer when your principal original idea so far has been a cheaper price than Apple? Microsoft may well qualify as the American company to achieve the most success without introducing to the needy world at least one original idea, unless, of course, a low-down price can be construed as such a welcome contribution. Let?s look at the spotty history of, not innovation, but imitation.

Despite the troubling news that assails us each day and seems bent on convincing us we should all be the tense and unhappy recipients of the worldwide outrages it forwards, we remained confident that maybe somewhere there is still at least one American who is relaxed and happy. Intent on locating the indomitable soul, should there still be one, we spread out across the nation and, just as we were ready to drop our shoulders and sigh with hopelessness, we saw a man walking down the street of a small resort town in the Northeast, singing to himself the song Louis Armstrong made eternally popular with his scratchy but heartfelt voice, ?What A Wonderful World.? Suspecting we might, at long last, have our man, we introduced ourselves and asked if he?d consent to an interview. ?Sure,? he replied, ?but only a short one. So I can stay relaxed and happy.? For whatever it may do to help you achieve your own peace and bliss, the interview follows. He reveals, among other things, that he concentrates, in a surprising way, on subjects that appear in the dictionary under the letter "F."